Apr 03, 2009
Thanks to Mick for sending this, really made me laugh!
21 Economic
Models Explained
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You
give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The
State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State
takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State
takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2
cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk
away.
TRADITIONAL
CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a
bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and
retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two
giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four
cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped
dead.
ROYAL BANK OF
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at
the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all four cows
back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the
No balance sheet
provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three
cows.
A JAPANESE
CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then
create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk
themselves.
AN ITALIAN
CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they
are.
You decide to have lunch.
A
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn
you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS
CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You
charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full
employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported
the real situation.
AN INDIAN
CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
One is mad and the other has had to be put in storage because of the
health and safety risks of milking it.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks
you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes
you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least
you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN
CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty
good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have
two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
Posted by Tomas on July 14, 2009 at 11:02 AM BST #